Monday, May 09, 2005

A Cross for Every Man

I used to think that meant "that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice" (Romans 12:1), which is very appropos socially and politically. Now, as an old man, I focus more and more on the internal, the psychological dimension of this cross.

Jung taught a generation of pschologists the
crucifixion of the ego. Familiar with that concept for many years, it's only now beginning to impact my thoughts in a significant way. I think I passed a milepost when I began to recognize and dislike my ego, my egocentricity. "No good (suddenly); it will feed nothing but your vanity."

"O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death ?" (If you don't know the answer to that question, look at Romans 7:25.); you only need to ask!

I usually wake up an hour or two before Ellie (She works much harder than I do!). This morning in a state of grace I asked God to take me through the day walking in his light, and particularly to deliver and protect me from that (suddenly monstrous) ego.

Would you believe he did? The day was good. We do doggie-dog tennis, usually a real feeding chance for the ego. Not today! Like Ellie I was thinking about the others: where are they? What are their needs? How could they do better (I don't just mean tennis-wise)? What could I do to be their friend? The day was beautiful; everybody had a good time.

Since then I've been ignoring my ego every minute (or at least trying to remember to). I even believe that I may be beginning to crucify the ego.

Do you want to? Just ask him/her whatever.

4 comments:

Marjorie said...

Yay! I need to do this as well, especially as the mother of small children -- they need me to be attentive to them, not to my ego.

Some days are great -- I think about the love that we all need and that so many have been denied. I have not been denied -- those to whom much is given, much is expected (Gospel of Luke).

Its not asking too much that I love wholly, completely, and without regard to myself.

Its so easy to get hung out about who Jesus was, its his message that matters [its the message, not the medium].

Meredith said...

Dear Larry,
I just saw this posting on another blog and it fits perfectly here. (Sorry I don't know how to do HTML tags on comments)

"Well," you ask
"How do I get rid of it?"

And my answer to that is:
That's the wrong question.

How does one get rid of what?

You can't get rid of your hallucination of being an ego
by an activity of the ego.

Sorry, but it can't be done.

If you try to get rid of your ego with your ego you will just end up in a vicous circle.

You'd be like somebody who worries because they worry because they worry.

Alan Watts

This brought me a smile, but I struggle with ego just the same. How can we not? I, like you, just try to remind myself not to be so important, to get out of the way so that Grace may have more room.

Larry Clayton said...

Bring up the following in a text file, and it will show you how I did an html in this comment:

The Little Black Boy--certainly one of my favorites.

Marjorie said...

Ah, I cannot get rid of my ego. Its almost like a bypass, move on to other things and the ego goes. Try to get rid of the ego and I'm simply wallowing in my ego.